Most of you know I have only worked as a Stay-At-Home Mom for the past decade… But after 12 years (or 144 months or 4,380+ days or 105,120+ hours) of doing the exact same job with NO days off, NO breaks, NO sick time, NO pay… I quit.

Initially, I shared this post on FB but deleted it because I felt I could do it more justice by making it a blog post. Seldom, do I allow myself to be this transparent. I may have said it before but mainly because I have a “outgoing but very private” personality type. I know, I know… a complete oxymoron. But we’ll touch on that another time.

So let me tell you what led up to me quitting being JUST A STAY-AT-HOME MOM. Friday, after I made a quick breakfast I swiftly got myself together. Made my oldest her lunch. Reminded her to complete all the tasks on her morning checklist. I put on the boys’ 2 coats, 2 pair of shoes, buckled 2 boys in car seats, grabbed 2 water cups all after checking 4 hands for items that shouldn’t be taken in my minivan. We came back home. I unbuckle 2 car seats, check the minivan for things that made it in the minivan from Thursdays haul.

Having both boys at home with me all day on Fridays is a true art. They play like only 5-year old and 2-year old boys do. They had a million requests for water, juice, milk, snacks, blankies, coveted toys that rest on the top shelf. They played through nap time. Made bigger messes than a preschooler and toddler should comprehend making. I did one load of laundry, drank lukewarm coffee that has been microwaved at least 2 times, cleaned the kitchen from breakfast, re-cleaned the living room what felt like 20 times, yet before I knew it… it was time to pick up my daughter from school. 

I swiftly got myself together. Put on 2 coats, 2 pair of shoes, buckled 2 boys in car seats, grabbed 2 juice cups all after checking 4 hands for items that shouldn’t be taken in my minivan. Dinner wasn’t prepared but I was positive that I could handle that after we came back home.

We picked “Sissy” up from school and immediately starts the “I’m-so-starving” whines followed by special food requests. We drive to Subway. I unbuckle 2 car seats, buy food then back to the car to buckle 2 car seats again. We drive back home. We enter the garage, I unbuckle 2 car seats. Juice is spilled… after cleaning it up we enter the house. I take off 2 coats, 2 pair of shoes, after I have grabbed 2 juice cups all while checking for items left in the minivan from now 6 hands. And Dinner STILL wasn’t prepared.

I sent my Husband a text that read… “I am sure your day was interesting to say the least. Shelby has a practice at 630p. The boys will need to eat, I apologize for not being prepared for you to come home and relax. I can assure you it will look like I have completed nothing when in fact I have been terribly busy today.”

Next thing you know I am back in the car with our daughter rushing to get her to practice. Friday ended with dinner with another Mom and her daughter… and one extremely exhausted ME. Saturday was jammed packed with activities that ranged from washing my hair and blow drying it (didn’t have time to flat iron it) to hours of competition dance practice to a birthday party for a friend of Shelby.

And MOST days I handle the stress of my responsibilities with ease. But there are days when my children constantly and consistently make messes faster than I able to clean, bicker and fuss about absolutely everything, no matter how much I give, it can seem as though it is never enough or given at the wrong time to the wrong people. To not feeling as though through the eyes of others I am pulling enough weight in various areas. To dinner not tasting “right”, socks are not straight enough, play dates don’t come fast enough… times when I feel just like a Mom in a YouTube video that has been heavily criticized but I so desperately understand her.

So today I quit…

You read that right… I quit.

I quit apologizing for not being enough. I quit comparing my “job” to others.  I quit buying into the belief that I must never feel overwhelmed with a job that has my demands. I quit letting society tell me that I am not working because I don’t have benefits and taxes taken from their system of pay. I quit believing that I am not allowed to feel like I am coming undone by the seams because I “get” to stay home. I quit believing that I don’t have a voice. I quit buying into the idea that I am not working when I am literally one of the hardest workers I know. Futhermore, I quit accepting the idea that there is no way that I can possibly hit 60,000 steps in a week working at home.  I quit allowing the “just” a Stay-At-Home stigma to be negatively attached to what I do… and do quite well I might add. I quit buying into the belief system that some jobs are more important than others. I am raising and nurturing lives that will be responsible for our future. I may not make a physical dime… but I quit today.

Tomorrow, I will wake up. I start my new job as a PROUD Stay-At-Home Mom/Home Chief Operating Officer (COO). I will love my children and Husband to the best of my ability. I will perform my duties as a Mother and Wife. I will still dream of what it feels like to ride in a shiny car on my way to a beautiful office view, with a hot coffee in my hand, where I would be dressed to the nines, in great physical shape, a perfectly swinging Bobcut hairstyle, beautifully applied makeup, making executive decisions, being paid a comparable salary to my worth, feeling terribly important. But you know what… I will dream, but I won’t quit.

I am enough. My job is important. I’m not “just” a Stay-At-Home Mom. I am a Stay-At-Home Mom period. And my job is EVERYTHING. Even when my living room is messy, sandwiches are “What’s For Dinner?” and I am NOT afforded the opportunity to eat bon-bons and watch soap operas. I will remind myself it’s perfectly fine to have bad days yet still love my children & be grateful for my Husband being the sole breadwinner as I work a sun-up-to-sun-down monetary lacking career. I will not be pressured by nagging thoughts to feel like my job is just mediocre. Because it’s not. ❤❤❤#LetMeGo #GottaGetBackToWork